GoodBye 2013!

I can't wait to say Goodbye to 2013. Cos 2013 is the worst year in my whole life. My dad 67 years old was diagnoised with stage 4 colon cancer and passed away within 1month. He passed away peacefully on 20th october 2013. And this is not the worst. On this 10th oct 2013, edmund was overseas and i bring edison to polyclinic to test his blood cos afraid was dengue fever cos his fever had been going up and down for 5days. 

After blood test, was told not dengue fever but his white blood count is very low. Ard 7. Suspected might be amenia. Immediately asked me to go KKH for further testing. Upon reaching KKH, after checkup ( doc checking his stomach) ..was told it might be spleen swollen and asked me to admit. Next day , edison did his ultrasound and it was this day onwards...my nightmare begin. I was told that the ultrasound report was out and spleen is ok. But they had found a huge tumor above his left kidney and suspected to be childhood cancer. The next few day..edison was undergo many testing..CTScan, bone scan, biospy, xray. This was too much for me to handle and i am glad that i have my friends and family for support. I called edmund and he immediately flew bk. On the 16th october, it was confirmed that edison was diagnoised with Neuroblastoma stage 4 cancer ( tumor 12.8 x 8.8 x 7.6 cm and had spread to bone marrow). This childhood cancer is very rare in singapore. Estimation : 1 yr only 6-7 children will have it. Edison have to undergo 9mth-1yr treatment ( chemo, surgery, stemcell and radio therapy) and survival rate is 40%. On 17th , we had family conference meeting with kkh of his treatment and 18th, we seek 2nd opinion with Dr Chui Chan Hon at Mount Elizabeth. I am glad that my buddy irend had found this surgeon for me. After talking with Dr chui, i feel soo much better after he tell me this word which i will always remember. Once u make the decision to go for the treatmemt, dun think abt the 40% survival rate.  Instead u should tell urself the survival  rate is 100% cos if never go treatment , the rate is 0%. With Dr Chui expertise, i know my edison  will be in great hands. This will be a long surgery but i know in my heart.. it will be a successful one. This surgery will take place after either 4th or 5th chemo and i really cannot wait Dr chui will take out the monster from edison stomach. On 20th oct  early morning, my dad had passed away and in the afternoon i need to admit edison to Kkh for port surgery and start his 1st chemo. This 20th oct is a black day and a day i hated it very much. I am really glad i got hubby, family and friends support and i managed to get through. Without them, i think i definitely get depression. 20th oct -31th dec is just ard 75days but i had learnt a lot. This journey is a tough and difficult one. Through this journey, i had realised dun take things for granted. I had apprrciate my parents cos now i know parenthood especially motherhood is very tough cos mother 1st priority is always children. I had realised i had very supportive neighbours, friends and family members. They are always there whenever i need them . One last person & also most important person : i feel Love from God. GOD is always there for me. Before edison was diagnoised..i am just neutral to God. Only pray to him whenever i need help only. Will forget him when i am smooth sailing. I live in the world where i feel that i can depend on myself. Fate is controlled by my own hands. But when edison was dignoise with cancer, i feel soo helpless. I even blame God y this is happening to me. I even though that izzit God created this to happen to make me realised something. Glad that my frenz Huiling is ard me . She make me realised that it is the devil and not God created this cancer. She make me realised i can run to God anytime when i wan . 

GOD NEVER FORSAKE ME. GOD WILL TURN WHATEVER NEGATIVE INTO POSITIVE. GOD CAN CREATE MIRACLES. What i need it FAITH!! I dun need to do anything more. I just need FAITH. And Yes!! GOD IS REALLY THERE FOR ME. HE IS AN ALIVE GOD. Whatever i prayed , he is listening and answer..some is immediately and some is in the future. Without God, i really dunno how to get through. I am glad that he is always here with us and with him ard..i know edison tough journeys will be in goods hands and i do not need to worry. I had already cast all problems to God and i know edison is in good hands. 

MY ONE AND ONLY WISH FOR 2014 is  EDISON WILL BE CANCER FREE & HE WILL BE THE GOD WALKING TESTIMONY!!